I do not really remember much of my life before I committed it to Christ at the age of 5. All you really need to know is that I was a sinner, just like everyone else in this world. I realized that I needed a Savior, not for "fire insurance", but because He loved me and wanted me to be with Him for all eternity, praising His name forever! (1 Peter 3:8-9)
I lived a pretty typical "good Christian" life and never got into big trouble with anyone. God definitely had His hand of protection on me concerning things of this world, such as drugs, sex, and anything that comes along with hanging around the wrong crowds (the influence of the world). Even though I saw these things in the Christian school I attended and in church youth groups as well, I recognized that it was not God's plan that was messed up but the heart of individuals who were not seeking His will. They were only seeking selfish desires. I was not immune to selfish desires, but mine were more along the lines of wanting to just hang out with friends regardless of other priorities, not taking care of my body as well as I should and things like that. Still bad. Still selfish. Still sin.
And I still struggle with these things. Not that they are "easier" to deal with now, but as an adult and as I have grown in Christ, I recognize the importance of putting selfish desires of any kind to rest and trust that God will take care of my wants if they are HIS desires. I have learned to pray that my desires become His desires, and it works!
The greatest time of growth for me personally has been in the last 3+ years. I met a family who holds weekly meetings in their home. I learned a lot about how the New Testament Church was structured, and I was faced with some biblical doctrine I had not ever heard before, or in some cases, had even argued against before. My first reaction was to run away, thinking it was false doctrine. I was challenged, and through trials come growth! James 1:2-4 says, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." I have also learned to pray for wisdom, believing God will give it to me (James 1:5-6, the very next verses), and what a difference this truly makes!
So as I was challenged, I continued to ask God for wisdom. The teacher at these bible studies, the elder of this house church, taught in a way that made us look for the answers ourselves straight from God's word (2 Timothy 2:15). He asked questions and was constantly giving Scripture passages to look up, many of these things I had read over my whole life but never noticed before! After having been in church since the first Sunday after I was born, I honestly felt completely dumb every time I walked through the door of this house. But that was a good thing because I had become teachable!
After a few months, some concerned friends and family were getting to me. I started having doubts about whether these doctrines that were being taught were really biblical or if this was some kind of cult, as the average life-long denominational Christian seemed to believe. So I backed off for a while. I stopped meeting with this group of believers, but I was still challenged and still hungry for the word! Over the next couple of years I thought of this family and the others who attended quite often. I would occasionally call or email, but they had come to believe that I was like most other Christians and was not open to any more teaching. They thought I had gone back to the denomination and was no longer teachable.
Not so! Quite the contrary, actually. As I was continually challenged by family and friends, I only saw confirmation again and again that some of the doctrines I had held onto most of my life were indeed false! Instead of listening to the doctrines of men, I was now listening to the Word of God, and I could see much more clearly that so much of what I believed was wrong! And it was important to get it right!
As a result of me being challenged and growing through it all, I am now burdened to challenge others. I do not always come across well in written form, but I am overcome with love for God and for my Christian brothers and sisters, for everyone to get the doctrines of the bible right. God desires unity, so I do not believe it is okay to just "agree to disagree". (Eph. 4:3, Rom. 15:5-6, Phil. 2:2) 1 Cor. 10:10-13 says, "Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. 12 Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” 13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" There is so much in the bible about being in unity. We are all part of one body, the body of Christ. I do not have all the right answers, but I definitely have better answers now than I did 3 years ago, because they come from the bible, not from denominational doctrine.
Through being challenged in a denominational church earlier this year, I have learned that by adopting a creed, a statement of faith, catechisms, etc. I was putting God in a box and did not feel the need or desire to learn outside of those things. I have also learned that if those things are truly based on Scripture, then I do not need to rely on man's own interpretation of Scripture....I have my own copy of God's word and the Holy Spirit to interpret for me! I think that is why there is so much division in the Church right now. Everyone wants to believe something different, and instead of just simply studying the bible together, they refer to a written outline, a man-made set of beliefs. No wonder there is so much confusion in the Church, and we know confusion does not come from God! (1 Cor. 14:33)
I pray that all who read this testimony of how God is working in my life will be challenged in their own walk, to seek the Truth of God's holy word and not rely on man-made doctrine. May God get the glory. For only He is worthy. I am merely a vessel used for His purpose, to give glory, honor and praise to the Creator of all things! It is my prayer that I will be used to show others how they can do the same. God bless!
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