Update about......nothing?

Well, there isn't really much to update since I am not pregnant and Jack is nearly 3 years old now! I did find out some news today though that I wanted to get down here.

I have had two c-sections now. The only hospital in my state that will even allow me to try for a VBAC will consider me high risk, really for at least 3 reasons:

1. I have had TWO c/s
2. I am now 35 years old (like that is a magic number or something?)
3. I am obese.

Now, I know that I can be healthier than I am right now, but I am generally healthy aside from all the excess weight. All my blood work that was done recently came back in the normal range. All of it. I eat pretty healthy, for the most part, and I am not completely sedentary (how could I be with 4 young children?), but I do need to be more active and cut out the bad foods completely. I know I need to exercise too. So there is something I can definitely do about the third thing on this list.

However, those first two I can't change. I can't reverse my age (and my new gray hairs!), and I certainly can't go back in time and undo my c-sections. So I will forever be considered "high risk", which means.......

.....absolutely NO chance EVER for a hospital or midwife (that I know of) VBAC, ever.

So, my only possible chance for a VBAC and a natural birth is if I have my baby at home. That is my only hope! Thankfully my husband trusts me enough (especially after the last pregnancy when I caught and diagnosed my own illness in plenty of time) to let me try this!

There will be stipulations, however, which I completely agree with.

1. I must eat as healthy as possible and exercise and lose weight!
2. I will have a midwife (if I can find one who will see me) or will at least go to the medical doctor every few weeks to check certain things like blood pressure, iron, proteins in the urine, etc.
3. I would like to have a doula just because it will be less stressful for me if I can tell my family that I have support, and doulas greatly decrease the chance of c-sections, etc. This one isn't a "must", but I think I will try to find one who is willing to see me.

Other than that, if I can lose weight and get in better physical shape over all and can find someone who will do the testing every month or so, I will be ready to have another baby......AT HOME!!!! I would still be considered high risk with any future babies even if I do have the "perfect birth" I've always wanted, but if I do finally get that, I'll just go for another perfect home birth again!

I was disappointed when I spoke with the nurse at the hospital today, but I didn't realize how willing my husband was for me to "try" again. I didn't realize how much he really trusted my own intuition and trusts me to really pay attention to my body for signs of anything abnormal. So I guess this is a good thing! I just need to get my body in shape (eat healthier, exercise, lose weight) and seek out a midwife and maybe a doula who will work for me!

On another note, I must be very hormonal today. I cried when I thought my "last hope" (at the time) for that natural birth was gone. Then I heard some horrible news about a family I barely know, and I cannot stop crying! It is very sad news. My heart just breaks for them. :'( But seriously, I barely know them and I just can't get a hold of myself! I know they will be fine, but I am so, so sad for them.