Okay, so here's the gory details.......
I started bleeding on Saturday afternoon. It definitely made me nervous, but I think 'scared' was a little too strong a word. I was a little scared Sunday though. I wasn't bleeding very heavily, so I thought that maybe I could save this baby as long as the baby itself was doing okay. So I put myself on bed rest (as much as I could stand it) all day Sunday and most of Monday.
I went to the doctor on Monday morning thinking I might be able to get an ultrasound. This was a free clinic (the OKC Indian clinic) and I didn't have an appointment, so the nurse called me back to ask me some questions (routine), and she was so cold and insensitive. She basically told me that since I wasn't bleeding very much, it's perfectly normal and I should just go home and only come in if I'm bleeding out huge clots. I tried to tell her that I didn't feel like this was normal, especially compared to my previous 3 pregnancies, but hey, she's the "medical professional", so she should know more about my body than I should, right??? (I was so irritated at her!) There was nothing she or the doctor could've done about it anyway, I just wish she had been more sensitive!
My mom had watched the kids for me, so she ended up taking the youngest two with her. My plan was to come down after violin class this morning (obviously we didn't go to class). My parents are going to keep them for another night, and my oldest and I will join them tomorrow and probably spend tomorrow night there. Anyway, that was a really big help not having to worry about the two of them. My oldest can get his own food/water and entertain himself pretty easily, so we just watched Superman cartoons (on DVD) and I let him eat cashews and dates (a special treat) all afternoon. I actually slept through most of the cartoons, but he said he really enjoyed his "Mommy time".
Last night I started having minor cramps. I thought it might be contractions, but I wasn't sure (I think I was in denial). They started getting stronger, but I was still able to sleep through them. At about 2am I repositioned and felt a gush of blood, so I jumped up and went to the bathroom. That was when I passed the first HUGE clot/tissue......whatever it was. It was jelly-like. Over the course of the next 3 hours I passed more large masses of tissue of some sort. I never saw anything that looked anything at all like a baby, so I am thinking it could have been a molar pregnancy. (Another reason I think that is because from the very beginning my pregnancy tests have been very, very light, like the hormone was barely detectable. I may never know for sure what that meant, but I just feel like something was wrong from the very beginning. I was only raw for about 2 weeks when I conceived, so I still had a lot of the same health issues that I had before. I'm confident it had absolutely nothing to do with diet or detoxing though.)
I had no idea what to expect during a miscarriage! I had no idea I'd be going through the whole 9 yards of labor! It wasn't quite as painful as my full-term labors, but I'm wondering if that may partly be due to my raw diet. I did have some pain, more than I was prepared for, but it was tolerable. I did get nauseous and threw up at one point. I asked Myles to bring me some water and by the time he got back with it (a minute later?) I was throwing up and didn't want any! LOL! Then a little bit later I was fine and got a drink. Next thing I remember was I was EXTREMELY light-headed and about to pass out, so he helped me get back to the recliner couch, and I was so much more comfortable. I didn't pass out, thank goodness. After I made it back to the couch, I still had a few more contractions, but nothing major. They quickly subsided and I was able to sleep a few more hours (from about 5am-8am). I passed a bit more when I woke up, but that was the last of it as of right now.
As soon as Jonathan woke up and had something to eat, he walked down to my FIL's house. My FIL had him for about 3 hours. I was fine by then, and Myles stayed home from work (he knew he'd better....lol), but it was still fun for Jonathan and easier on us without him here. We just relaxed a while longer (okay, we were LAZY!).
I am feeling great right now, but I know that can change, so I'm watching for that both physically and emotionally. I called the nurse that I saw yesterday. I told her everything that happened, and I really don't think she believed me. She acted like I should be bleeding every drop of blood in my body for it to be a viable miscarriage!!! I told her I'd been taking liquid chlorophyll which raised my iron/hemoglobin level and therefore reduced the bleeding, but she still didn't believe me. I felt like reaching through the phone and slapping her, but that wouldn't have done any good.
On a positive note, I had been planning all along to have an unassisted pregnancy (no doctor or midwife) and an unassisted birth at home. I felt really empowered and learned to trust my instincts and my body more as a result of this labor/miscarriage. I definitely didn't want the pregnancy to end, but at least I can get some good out of it, I guess. I also chose not to get a d&c. Myles was a little upset with me but was mostly concerned for my health. In the end, he agreed to let me do it my own way and that I would be open to a d&c should something abnormal come up in the next few days. Otherwise, I think I convinced him it wasn't necessary and could cause many other problems. (After my 2nd was born, the doctor had pulled on the umbilical cord [intervention] which led to a d&c [more intervention], but they didn't get it all! I had to have an anti-biotic [more intervention] and passed more of the placenta on my own [naturally] after 8 days!)
So, that's where I'm at right now. I'm feeling fine for the time being, and at this point I don't think there was a baby there. Anastazia, you're right though that we had hopes and dreams of another baby being part of our family in October. So even though we may not have lost a baby, we did lose hope. I guess that's not easy either, but with friends like all of you praying and offering support in whatever way possible, and through God's strength and love, we'll be just fine.
Thank you again, and seriously, I don't mind talking about it, so feel free to ask me anything. I only say this because when I've had friends who have miscarried, I never know what is okay to say or not to say. So ask me anything you want. If I'm really emotional at some point, I'll just be sure to not get on the computer at that time!
So, today I still feel about the same. I feel great physically and emotionally so far, but I am on alert just in case my emotions start to go crazy! I'll try to come here and post my thoughts and feelings over the next few days in addition to what I am eating. Honestly, I haven't been doing too well with raw lately, but it's what I really, truly want. I know I can do it.
Oh, and a friend of mine suggested that maybe I had a "blighted ovum" instead of a molar pregnancy. I did a little research online, and since they seem similar at a glance and the blighted ovum is much more common, that's probably what it was. But that's really just a guess from what I saw with my own eyes. I never went to the doctor or hospital.
I started bleeding on Saturday afternoon. It definitely made me nervous, but I think 'scared' was a little too strong a word. I was a little scared Sunday though. I wasn't bleeding very heavily, so I thought that maybe I could save this baby as long as the baby itself was doing okay. So I put myself on bed rest (as much as I could stand it) all day Sunday and most of Monday.
I went to the doctor on Monday morning thinking I might be able to get an ultrasound. This was a free clinic (the OKC Indian clinic) and I didn't have an appointment, so the nurse called me back to ask me some questions (routine), and she was so cold and insensitive. She basically told me that since I wasn't bleeding very much, it's perfectly normal and I should just go home and only come in if I'm bleeding out huge clots. I tried to tell her that I didn't feel like this was normal, especially compared to my previous 3 pregnancies, but hey, she's the "medical professional", so she should know more about my body than I should, right??? (I was so irritated at her!) There was nothing she or the doctor could've done about it anyway, I just wish she had been more sensitive!
My mom had watched the kids for me, so she ended up taking the youngest two with her. My plan was to come down after violin class this morning (obviously we didn't go to class). My parents are going to keep them for another night, and my oldest and I will join them tomorrow and probably spend tomorrow night there. Anyway, that was a really big help not having to worry about the two of them. My oldest can get his own food/water and entertain himself pretty easily, so we just watched Superman cartoons (on DVD) and I let him eat cashews and dates (a special treat) all afternoon. I actually slept through most of the cartoons, but he said he really enjoyed his "Mommy time".
Last night I started having minor cramps. I thought it might be contractions, but I wasn't sure (I think I was in denial). They started getting stronger, but I was still able to sleep through them. At about 2am I repositioned and felt a gush of blood, so I jumped up and went to the bathroom. That was when I passed the first HUGE clot/tissue......whatever it was. It was jelly-like. Over the course of the next 3 hours I passed more large masses of tissue of some sort. I never saw anything that looked anything at all like a baby, so I am thinking it could have been a molar pregnancy. (Another reason I think that is because from the very beginning my pregnancy tests have been very, very light, like the hormone was barely detectable. I may never know for sure what that meant, but I just feel like something was wrong from the very beginning. I was only raw for about 2 weeks when I conceived, so I still had a lot of the same health issues that I had before. I'm confident it had absolutely nothing to do with diet or detoxing though.)
I had no idea what to expect during a miscarriage! I had no idea I'd be going through the whole 9 yards of labor! It wasn't quite as painful as my full-term labors, but I'm wondering if that may partly be due to my raw diet. I did have some pain, more than I was prepared for, but it was tolerable. I did get nauseous and threw up at one point. I asked Myles to bring me some water and by the time he got back with it (a minute later?) I was throwing up and didn't want any! LOL! Then a little bit later I was fine and got a drink. Next thing I remember was I was EXTREMELY light-headed and about to pass out, so he helped me get back to the recliner couch, and I was so much more comfortable. I didn't pass out, thank goodness. After I made it back to the couch, I still had a few more contractions, but nothing major. They quickly subsided and I was able to sleep a few more hours (from about 5am-8am). I passed a bit more when I woke up, but that was the last of it as of right now.
As soon as Jonathan woke up and had something to eat, he walked down to my FIL's house. My FIL had him for about 3 hours. I was fine by then, and Myles stayed home from work (he knew he'd better....lol), but it was still fun for Jonathan and easier on us without him here. We just relaxed a while longer (okay, we were LAZY!).
I am feeling great right now, but I know that can change, so I'm watching for that both physically and emotionally. I called the nurse that I saw yesterday. I told her everything that happened, and I really don't think she believed me. She acted like I should be bleeding every drop of blood in my body for it to be a viable miscarriage!!! I told her I'd been taking liquid chlorophyll which raised my iron/hemoglobin level and therefore reduced the bleeding, but she still didn't believe me. I felt like reaching through the phone and slapping her, but that wouldn't have done any good.
On a positive note, I had been planning all along to have an unassisted pregnancy (no doctor or midwife) and an unassisted birth at home. I felt really empowered and learned to trust my instincts and my body more as a result of this labor/miscarriage. I definitely didn't want the pregnancy to end, but at least I can get some good out of it, I guess. I also chose not to get a d&c. Myles was a little upset with me but was mostly concerned for my health. In the end, he agreed to let me do it my own way and that I would be open to a d&c should something abnormal come up in the next few days. Otherwise, I think I convinced him it wasn't necessary and could cause many other problems. (After my 2nd was born, the doctor had pulled on the umbilical cord [intervention] which led to a d&c [more intervention], but they didn't get it all! I had to have an anti-biotic [more intervention] and passed more of the placenta on my own [naturally] after 8 days!)
So, that's where I'm at right now. I'm feeling fine for the time being, and at this point I don't think there was a baby there. Anastazia, you're right though that we had hopes and dreams of another baby being part of our family in October. So even though we may not have lost a baby, we did lose hope. I guess that's not easy either, but with friends like all of you praying and offering support in whatever way possible, and through God's strength and love, we'll be just fine.
Thank you again, and seriously, I don't mind talking about it, so feel free to ask me anything. I only say this because when I've had friends who have miscarried, I never know what is okay to say or not to say. So ask me anything you want. If I'm really emotional at some point, I'll just be sure to not get on the computer at that time!
So, today I still feel about the same. I feel great physically and emotionally so far, but I am on alert just in case my emotions start to go crazy! I'll try to come here and post my thoughts and feelings over the next few days in addition to what I am eating. Honestly, I haven't been doing too well with raw lately, but it's what I really, truly want. I know I can do it.
Oh, and a friend of mine suggested that maybe I had a "blighted ovum" instead of a molar pregnancy. I did a little research online, and since they seem similar at a glance and the blighted ovum is much more common, that's probably what it was. But that's really just a guess from what I saw with my own eyes. I never went to the doctor or hospital.
